Tuesday, February 12, 2008

*~ I Found God In MySelf and I Loved Her, I Loved Her Fiercely~*

Nothing in my life has been more powerful than personal acceptance,than as one of my Sistah goddesses calls it, "giving yourself permission"...that time, that place and that space when you realize that it is okay for you to be you and that even if it aint okay you bout to do that shit any damned way! The time when you grow weary of cloaking your fulfillment in the desires of others and you strike out in pursuit of Your Life lived on Your Terms...that moment when it dawns on you that the greatest accomplishment ever gained by being long suffering and self sacrificing was crucifixion and that aint quite what you had in mind for your life, when you open your eyes to the fact that man or that job or that career that you are giving yourself to day after day minute after minute hour after hour aint even got the decency to say thank you and has no plans of ever acknowledging your contributions, but will continue to take credit for them as long as you allow it...the time when you grow tired of hearing your words come out of the mouths of others without so much as a footnote, when you feel that you will burst from seeing others build their lives around your drudgery,when you feel like you cannot stoop lower, scrape any deeper or bend your back into one more contortion for the comfort of others
THAT is when you become a woman..the real thing..not someone who is virtuous and therefore hard to find, whose price is described as far above rubies because she gathers flax for her family; not what you have always been told a woman should be..BUT someone whose life is a shining example of Living of Being of Doing...what a woman truly is...someone who pushes her dreams out of her head, fashions them into a living reality right here on Earth and blows the breath of life into them
Once I started living for myself I realized that Heaven supported me, the Moon, the Earth, the Stars, the Rivers, the Ocean, trees, grass, animals had my back...God put Her hand in mine and smiled with me...I realized that far from being displeased or angry with my happiness, Her joy for me was rivaled only by my own...
And I intoned Ntozake Shange's words with full understanding for the first time:
"I found God in Myself and I loved Her , I loved Her Fiercely!"




18 comments:

Anonymous said...

Ase! Hallelujah! Namaste! Hillel!Alu Akbar! Shalom! Konichiwa! Right On sister, yeye, momma goddess. I'm beginning a shift in myself and I can't explain how much your words hit home!

Modupe
Odokemi

sweetness said...

the more i read this and the other words you offered to me around turning 30, the more i understand.

i am most definitely beginning to get very uncomfortable in the too-tight spaces that have been crafted for me--some i wove for myself, others come from my outward conditioning. but i'm beginning to feel the hunger pangs.

i am fully interested in tearing loose and discovering what more is out there for me. my water is wearing away the stone.

ase.

Z said...

Peace my beloved sister. First let me say that I was lead to your page while on YMIB and I am glad that I was. I am a mother, a writer, and a seeker of my Ancestoral way of life and worship. I am constantly looking for words of inspiration from the Goddesses of the Mother continent and this entry is by far one of the most powerful and inspirational that I have come across in my 30 years on this planet. Your words are a blessing. I believe that each day my daughters and I are given a gift by the Universe and today- you are that gift. Much Peace and
Many Blessings. Ase.....Z.

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